Toxic Positivity - Guest Madeline Adamson
Madeline is an amazing Virtual Assistant who primarily works with spiritual coaches. She manages social media, writes content, creates graphics, and is all around incredible.
She shares how she’s always been interested in the power of our thoughts, specifically positive thoughts! Her parents gave her a copy of The Secret in high school, and she dove right in!
Looking back, she realizes that had a bit of a misunderstanding - she had felt she needed to use positive thinking to cover over “bad” situations or circumstances - when in reality, she’s come to find that any circumstance is neutral in and of itself, while her own responses and reactions are really up to her.
Madeline explains that toxic positivity is when you ignore reality and put a “happy face” on everything. I resonate so much! I think I’ve created a plethora of issues for myself in the past by faking positivity and then feeling that I had to protect what was, essentially, a lie. Having a positive mindset is NOT meant to be a band aid solution that sinks you into denial and deception.
She suggests looking for cues in your thinking. When you experience an emotion, you can start by NAMING that emotion. Just noticing, naming, and speaking over what you feel can help you start to interact with yourself in a healthier manner.
Be honest, and allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling.
Once you’ve named it and felt it, you can ask yourself what stories you have about the situation or feeling.
The reality is, there are stories who serve us and stories who don’t. Nothing to feel guilty about, nothing to label as good/bad, positive/negative. You’ll experience all sorts of things, and the way you choose to process them and weave them into your narrative will change the way you live your life.
Another way to release some of the stress around this topic? Understand that you are human, and you should be experiencing ALL the things life has to offer. So feeling sad, angry, upset, disappointed - those aren’t signs that you’re failing or “less than”. They are signs that everything is perfectly normal. You don’t need to pretend they don’t exist, or put a “happy face” on any of it!
This interview was so fun, and I’m not doing it justice here - be sure to listen in!